Knowing Your Personal Strengths

Do you know your strengths? Let me preface by saying, I definitely know my weaknesses! I fret. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to fret, worry, stress and so on! We are supposed to give it ALL over to God. But boy is it hard to do when fretting seems to be coded within my DNA.

Let me give you an example; infertility. If you read my last post you know I have been struggling (once again) with infertility and the decision to (once again) come to grips with the big "I" word. Could it be PMS? Very likely! Could it be the recent announcements of pregnant women in my life (now up to 7!)? Quite possibly! Or could it be God working on me? Maybe! How can I know for sure? Hence the fretting.

As I struggle I try to bury it deep down so not to show my hurting or disappointments on the outside. It's much easier to deal with the outside world when you act as if you are the strongest person they know. But come on, who can really keep that kind of front going, for an extended period of time? For those who are closest to me, I might say something every once in a while to let you know I am having an "off day". Or, for those who are closest to me, you may never know; really just depends on me and my willingness to open up! I hope I'm not the only one who is like this! Geeze; sounds exhausting just re-reading it. Anyway...

After a very moving message at church and then going to the couple's baby shower yesterday, I really felt my fretting spiral out of control. I knew I had to confront my feeling with God and with my hubby and just get it all out on the table. Here is my struggle: Am I going against God's plan for me if I try infertility one more time? How do I know if all my feelings are not just "my feelings"? How can I tell if it isn't God's way of getting my attention or telling me that THIS time it will work? Am I hearing God or am I hearing my emotions? Aha...the root of the problem!

I must say, I have been so blessed with a husband who can see right through me and can get to the heart of my emotions immediately. He is so honest and really helps me see things more logically than my emotions would ever allow me to. And just like that, I am happy to say, the fretting is gone! Just like that, my prayers continue but with a lighter heart as this weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Just like that, I can rationalize and see things clearly again!

In the mean time, decisions will be made and life will go on; more to come on this. Besides, we have a new furry child that will make his way to our home in less than 3 weeks. That is another post all together...FIVE DOGS! Yikes!


~K